Lemon Meringue Pie & A Workout


I awoke this morning with a new feeling; a feeling I haven't had in a really long time.  I woke up ready to work out.  I woke up feeling ready to move past my fears and in the direction of my dreams.  I woke up and didn't eat for breakfast, the dreamy little lemon meringue pie I made yesterday.  I woke up feeling prepared to do what it takes.  I woke up feeling done with being fat.

I have been struggling with the body that pregnancy has left me with.  I vowed to begin working out as soon as the baby was in this world; as soon as my feet resembled something other than potatoes; as soon as the nausea would allow me to eat a salad again.  But things took a wicked twist and I was taken out by an emergency C-section and long recovery.  Despite me being immobile, the weight began to drop off with breastfeeding alone.  I lost 40 of the 55 pounds in what seemed like weeks…melted…gone.  The procrastinator in me rejoiced and I put off formal exercise and diet for a later date.

Well that date has arrived and I have been stuck at this weight (15 pounds higher than my pre-pregnancy weight which was already above my ideal weight) for months now and it is getting old.  Seriously.  I am still breastfeeding and will continue to do so until February at minimum (another post could be written on this topic), but the frequency has dwindled during the days as I follow her lead. 

My goal is to lose 25 pounds.  Like Oprah, I can't believe I am still talking about this.  I can't believe I am still battling with this. 

Today feels different.  Maybe it is because I am coming out of the facebook fog, or maybe it is due to the sheer amounts of Wayne Dyer wisdom I have been listening to in the past week.  Whatever the reason, I woke up with a renewed outlook on the topic.  Instead of focusing on the end, I will focus on today.  Instead of looking at the huge task ahead, I will focus on the tiny decisions.  Each day I will arrive and feel well.  I will stop holding myself to impossible standards.  I will be patient and kind with myself.  I will celebrate the small triumphs.

Now lets just hope I wake up with a similar clarity tomorrow.


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  1. Posted October 28, 2009 at 3:10 pm by julie | Permalink

    I can relate. I am still talking about it too! I have regained about 10 pounds of weight after loosing 30. I also came to the conclusion that I need to focus again. Love your thoughts on taking it day by day and celebrating the small triumphs!

  2. Posted October 28, 2009 at 3:39 pm by stacey | Permalink

    [I have not have children yet, but have struggled with my weight pretty much for my lifetime!
    I know you can do this motivation is key!
    And your lemon pie looks amazing!

  3. Posted October 28, 2009 at 6:45 pm by Andrea | Permalink

    I love your enthusiasm. And you know the best thing? You’ll FEEL so incredible after your first workout, and second, and third, that before you know it, you won’t need motivation! You’ll just be missing the workouts when you DON’T do them. It’s win-win once you start.
    I think the first thing in the AM workout is key too: no procrastination, just straight to it and then the rest of your day can follow a similar pattern.
    How exciting for you! Bull by the horns, I love it : )

  4. Posted October 28, 2009 at 9:06 pm by Jeannette | Permalink

    Lovely. It’s so nice to see more people on the path to wellness. I have lost 22 lbs since Aug. 19th just by logging my food. I use the Lose It app but it could easily be done in any journal or at a place like SparkPeople.com.
    I started my journey a long time ago. I had to get right in my head first. Now that I’m clear there, it was easy to start logging my food and not feel limited or deprived.
    I can feel myself being pulled towards being ready to exercise again. I feel the need to move and be active.
    Good luck on your journey. Just remember, doing doesn’t take motivation. It just takes doing. :)

  5. Posted October 29, 2009 at 9:02 am by Desiree Fawn | Permalink

    I feel your pain! I gained 50lbs with Gretchen, and though I’ve lost the 50, I’m still above what I’d like to be at. I’ve been stuck at 177-180ish, back and forth for MONTHS now and I too, am tiring of it.
    Only I can’t seem to get back on track.
    I was going to the gym 3 times a week until G developed some pretty intense separation anxiety and now she’s too upset to stay in the gym daycare for an hour while I yoga/jog/whatever.
    I will try again in the near future, but her happiness is more important to me right now, and if she’s not comfortable — I won’t be!
    Best wishes to you! Maybe we can motivate each other!!

  6. Posted October 29, 2009 at 9:02 am by Desiree Fawn | Permalink

    (Oh, I also wanted to say that I LOVE that font — it’s one of my favourites!!)

  7. Posted October 29, 2009 at 8:56 pm by anissa ljanta | Permalink

    i guess the most important thing is how you feel, only you know in your heart what is the right weight for you, (away from all the society pressures about ‘skinny size 6,8’s are beautiful – which we get on tv, in movies, magazines…) – I think you are gorgeous, i read your blog every now and then and certainly ‘fat’ never entered my mind in regards to seeing pics of you. May i suggest not using scales but just go with what feels right to you? It’s not about numbers, its about beauty. Your own unique beauty- and that you have in abundance.

  8. Posted October 29, 2009 at 8:59 pm by anissa ljanta | Permalink

    forgot to say: and yes, my birth story reads a bit like yours…my boy was enormous and my frame is not…i couldnt even got for walks for the last six weeks and my life now being what it is, cant exercise the way i’d like to…that will pass, i know. Making peace with my post baby body has been such a powerful experience, i wish you love and luck on your journey.

  9. Posted October 30, 2009 at 7:15 pm by Ana | Permalink

    Erin, I have been using this website: http://www.livestrong.com
    You tell it how much you weight, your height, etc, and how much you want to lose per week. Then you can put in all the foods you eat in a day, and what excercises you do. And the more working out you do, the more calories you’re “allowed” in a day. I like it because it keeps track of things for me, and logging in every day and seeing that I’ve met my calorie and/or exercise goals for x-days in a row makes me want to keep doing it.
    It’s also cool because I’m still managing to eat everything that I love (even brownies and lasagna!).

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